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As I stood looking through the icy window, I could see the barren tree branches swaying back and forth. It was as if a cold, unseen hand was slapping them relentlessly yet they

could not fight back. Their leaves had long since fallen and though once green and majestic, they now appeared lifeless. Once bursting with life and radiant in color, they now seemed pitiful and sad. Suddenly, it occurred to me that we had much in common and I began to draw some comparisons.

While reflecting on the winters of my life, I realized that each one had seemed to come upon me out of nowhere when I was most blissful and full of hope. It had only been a few weeks since my marriage of seventeen years had come to an end shattering the dreams to which I had clung so tightly. I now viewed myself as a forty-two year-old failure whose life had ended in shame. Sad, withdrawn, and dejected, my demeanor spoke of the darkness that was within and the despair that ruled my life. Where could I go for help? Who could possibly understand the depth of my pain?

Instinctively, I began to seek after God as never before. This began a journey that would take me to a place where I could receive the instruction from that still, small voice I so desperately needed. This awful winter of my life was certainly not what I had wanted. I had fought it off many times before. Yet, its relentless pounding would not stop until the gates to my home had been destroyed and my family was but a fragment of what it once had been.

While searching for encouragement and the strength to carry on, I found two allies. Christ was the faithful friend that he had always been to me. Once I immersed myself into His word, I became aware of his presence as never before. It was in his word that I found my second ally. I turned to the Psalms and it was as though David emerged from its pages and spoke directly to me. These were the words that had tried so desperately to emanate from my broken heart.

“Deliver me out of the mire, and let me not sink; let me be delivered from them that hate me, and out of the deep water… And hide not thy face from thy servant; for I am in trouble; hear me speedily.” (Ps. 69)

I too, felt as though I was drowning in a mixture of grief and despair. I had become a man without hope; a traveler lost on his way and desperate for direction. David was surely speaking for me since I saw myself as one “…in trouble.”

Reading on, I began to understand that David was standing on the other side of his cold, dark, winter when he wrote “Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.” (Ps 27:14)

And so I waited and the answer came. It was not to be the one I wanted so desperately to receive. My family was not to be restored again, and I would watch from a distance as my precious daughter moved through the seasons of her own life. But nevertheless, God began to move within me to unfold his perfect response. He simply impressed upon me to “Let it go.” I knew immediately what he meant and argued that I could not give up on my dream. Yet after a while, I remembered who I was and who he is and said, “OK Lord, I

will let it go.” Suddenly, that harsh, savage, winter began to turn to spring with my life bringing forth buds that would eventually bloom again. “He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul.” (Ps. 23) These are not only the words of David; but, they are now also my own. He has restored my soul and grown me through a dark, cold, winter of my life. Now as I look at the leafl ess trees that are beaten by the winter winds, I no longer see lifeless branches. I look through my mind’s eye into the ground beneath fi nding roots that are thriving, growing, and moving deeper. The result is increased stability to the tree above to help withstand those strong winds of the future storms of life. That memorable winter was the worst of my life … and also the best. Because of those cold winds of anguish that penetrated all the way to my heart, I have been able to help comfort many others experiencing a similar harsh and bitter season of their own. What a joy it is to speak words of hope to them as David spoke to me.

“The Lord also will be a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble.” (Ps. 9:9) Scripture: King James Version (Public Domain)